10.04.11 - twenty-sick
Are you in or am I in this on my own?
Being twenty-six sucks so far. Why? Because I feel like an old bitch. I need to start walking/running again. I feel like a slug. Look like one too. I've gotta get in better shape if I'm going to be laying about in UV rays. Yum. The UV rays, I mean. Are yummy.
My birthday dinner was fabulous and I shared lots of laughs with my little cousins. <3 We had fun and it certainly felt like a birthday dinner. I finally stopped eating when I felt like I was going to throw up. After that, breathing was painful and I felt like the fattest, slimiest disgusting little slug ever. I love/hate stuffing myself to that extent. So painful but I can't stop! Soooo bad for you though. Ugh. This is why I look and feel like a slug.
I have tons of Astronomy homework to do. And speaking of school, there's some hubbub with financial aid and I may not get it next semester. I've never received any financial aid and depending on the outcome of the appeal I'm making, I may not ever. This would really suck but I would be free to take Physics in the spring like I was planning. I don't know how this would really go with Microbio and Pharmacology though. But who knows? I'm up for the challenge.
I used to have really bad test anxiety. It wasn't always that way though so I feel like I dealt with it for a relatively short time. Now when others freak out I can't stand it. I really want to try to be compassionate because I know what it feels like, but at the same time I just want them to get over it! I don't know what changed for me. It just stopped all of a sudden for me. Now I like test taking because it gives me an opportunity to flex my brain but I know that sometimes I make dumb mistakes or didn't understand a question so it's not a perfect indicator of my knowledge in the subject.
I have one particular classmate that I study with who totally freaks out sometimes and I can't seem to persuade her that being confident even when you don't feel you should be confident can sometimes do wonders. If nothing else it will at least solidify what you do know within yourself.
I haven't had sex in weeks. I'm at my friskiest right before that time so I've been climbing walls. I am trying to remain resilient though and see just how awesome I can be against my cooch. I'll show 'er who's boss. I don't have to, but I want to. Is that weird? Do men do this?
10.06.11 - blepharo
I just downloaded TextPlus which assigns me a phone number other than my own and allows me to text with people! Because you can't call me on this number, I'm willing to share it with all you nasty daddies to text me whenever you feel: 972-893-9771
10.07.11 - the promise
What a fucking week. This is the second week in a row where I've gotten confused about where exactly we are in the week and what the fucking date is causing me to jump the gun on my research report for Medical Terminology and thinking there was an Astronomy test today. I stayed up sooo late Wednesday night trying to put together the research paper and even woke up early on Thursday to finish it. I got everything ready to present to the class only to realize that it's due next fucking week. Of course the whole time I was upset because I really needed to study for Astronomy and I was losing out on time to do that because of the paper. I resigned to the idea of bombing the test and went in armed with nothing but my pencil, chunk eraser and graphing calculator only to find that the class was just reviewing for the test NEXT WEEK. And then, the cherry on top: I got an 83.5 on my Anatomy test. WHAT???? A FUCKING 83???????? NO!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am determined to make the 83.5 my lowest test grade for the course!!
Registration for the spring semester starts next week but I can't register until 10/19/11. That's fine. It's not like I have the money either way... :( I am meeting with financial aid tomorrow to submit my appeal and I get to find out when they will meet about my case also. It's a double-edged sword though. If I am granted the financial aid, I am pretty much married to the schedule of MicroBiology, Pharmacology and Speech. UGH!!! If not, I can take whatever I want... which I think will be Micro, Physics ... actually I don't know.
I really miss having a t.v. :( I miss watching my shows on the couch with the dogs snoozing beneath me on the rug. I miss hanging out in the living room. Sadness. I'm buried in it. :(
I've had When In Rome's The Promise stuck in my head all day. I loved this song as a little kid and it popped up in my head this morning out of nowhere really. Hmmm... Oooo, Duran Duran<3
10.08.11 - Tobias Mackey
AT&T, lovely company they are (gag), is currently charging $199.00 for the new iPhone 4S for new customers with a 2-yr contract. I've been a customer since 2008 and they are charging me $350 until after March of 2012. Every single year I've paid $200 for the new iPhone except for the 3G. The rep says there's a 20 month waiting period from the last upgrade which is why I wouldn't be eligible for the price new customers are getting until March. So fuck the old customer if they're wanting to get the new phone when it comes out. Sweet.
You know what I say to that? GO FUCK YOURSELF, AT&T. I fully intend on leaving this wretched company and moving over to Sprint (oh fucking yay) for the $200 iPhone 4S. I can't wait to have a decent iphone again! I miss flickr.
The other night I watched Melancholia, a movie I've been waiting MONTHS AND MONTHS to see! It is by far one of my favorite movies now. ***Spoilers? Not that you jerks care!***
The movie is divided into two parts: Justine and Claire. Justine's part was hard for me to watch. It was hard to watch her husband, played by Alexander Skaarsgard, be so loving and patient with her... only for her to sabotage her wedding and fuck her boss' weak ass nephew during her own wedding reception. UGH!
Short of that, I was on the edge of my seat the whole time waiting to see what would happen. The movie shows you in the very beginning that Earth is destroyed so it's not so much the suspense of the end but what happens along the way to get to that point. I was shocked that John would leave his wife and son alone in the end. I couldn't understand it and I've been thinking about it ever since watching it. That and I can't get what she said about 678 beans out of my head. How did she know???
I wish I had three of me to do all the stuff I'd like to get done. The horrid Texas heat is letting up so I'm thinking maybe now is an easier time to get active again to try and boost my energy level. The dogs would sure love it too. Little cutie pies.
I'm reading an article about a Dallas PD Officer fatally shooting an unarmed suspect. They shot 25YO Tobias Mackey to death with *seven* shots (though in earlier articles they said at least 4 shots hit him) because they thought he had a gun in his pants. They were responding to complaints when they came across him and allegedly ordered him to show his hands. I guess he refused or made some sort of gesture that caused police to respond with gunfire. An 11-12YO boy was grazed in the arm by one of the police officer's bullets and is now suing the city.
Here's my problem with his: Did it really require that many bullets? Are Dallas police trained to aim guns when they fire or do they just close their eyes and pull the trigger? I'm not imagining them shooting the gun out of his hand or at his feet to make him dance, but how about just one bullet? I know this stuff happens fast and police have to constantly have their defenses but seriously? The articles are making it sound like other officers joined in on the shooting as well. When a person is struck by more than one bullet, couldn't someone standing next to the shooter see that the person being shot is NOT pulling out a gun and firing back because he's too busy getting shot the fuck up? And dying???
The scariest part about this shit are the people who think there's nothing wrong with this situation and think the cops did the right thing. I understand the desire to clean up a crime-infested neighborhood or apartment complex, but instead of Tobias Mackey it could've been one of their family members or friends. What if it was THEIR 11-12YO fifth grader that was grazed? Would it still have been the "right thing" then????
Tobias Mackey has multiple assault charges on his record and was violating a trespass warning by being at the complex. Maybe if he obeyed it, he would have grown older to continue the path of violence and crime and be a burden on society. Maybe he never would've really contributed to society or humanity in any way. Or maybe he would have changed his ways and helped his fellow man in somehow. Or maybe his children would have. We will never know now. And he's dead at 25 now because a police officer felt blasting the fuck out of person in the breezeway of an apartment without even accounting for any children or innocent bystanders that were around because he was scared.
FUCK Dallas PD.
10.09.11 - you don't own me
I would eat a rare steak every single day if I could. Do I have an iron deficiency? I need to start taking vitamins again. And exercise. Ugh!!! There was a few weeks where I was taking the dogs out regularly but then I got tan lines and quit. I feel like the fear of tan lines is debilitating. Maybe I can get a doctor to diagnose this and I can start getting some kind of disability. And don't argue with me, it IS a disability... I can't bear to get exercise for fear of tan lines! And that leads to obesity which can lead to a multitude of diseases. It's an all around tragedy with me and my loyal following of curdled balls as victims.
I'm opening registration back up. I have a huge mental to-do list for the blog but I'll never get around to any of it because I'm lazy and busy with school all the time. And by busy with school I mean I spend most of the time thinking about how much I need to study but never quite getting there. Because I'm lazy.
The cost of a Xbox 360 has dropped to $199. I was just thinking about how game consoles haven't changed for a while and thought maybe that's because people have been too obsessed with their cell phones. Of course, even if I got a new 360, I have no t.v. to play it on thanks to K.
Texas is finally getting RAIN!!!! The first incident of rain had Texans announcing the much needed rainfall all over facebook. That's how fucking serious this summer's drought was. The Astronomy club canceled the moon viewing for Saturday because of clouds and rain and while I'm sure we were all disappointed about it, we're all HAPPY AS SHIT for the rain.
It's almost 6AM and I can hear the rain pouring down outside my house. This means EVERYTHING to me because it hardly rains in my area of town even when it's pouring everywhere else. It makes me want to get my patio garden going again. Nearly everything died. Man, I hear THUNDER! It's like music to my ears! I love rainy weather. All I need is a bowl right now to really accent the mood.
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