12.13.10 - badu

I've been jamming the fuck out of Erykah Badu. Man I love her! Her music is amazing and she's an incredibly beautiful woman. Also, SHE REPS TEXAS! She still holds it down in Dallas to this day, I believe.

I don't know what I was thinking but tonight I loaded up the blog and decided I fucking HATE the layout. I want to change it just like I want to work on the photo gallery but I'm never home and just don't have the time anymore now that I have to be at the freaking restaurant 4 days out of the week and at the bar downtown 2 nights of the week. That's also the reason why I haven't been writing many blog entries. I try to keep up with twitter updates at the very least, so FOLLOW ME if you aren't already. Oh shit, I just found an admin app I can use for my blog! Aw shit, son! It's on like Michelle Kwan! Hmmmm........
Many, MAny, MANY thanks to those of you who have clicked on my Camwhores links, signed up or resubscribed to the site. Just like with Flickr updates, I can update my webcam exclusively at Camwhores from my phone so having a membership to the site does give you a little extra Purple in your life.

I'm having trouble at the restaurant with the Asst.Mgr. I haven't disliked someone THIS MUCH in a long time and frankly, it's just not healthy. Like, it's really not healthy. It infuriates me to hear his voice, to know that he breathes the same air... I fucking HATE this guy. Srsly. I feel very spiteful and argumentative, but I blame him for making me this way because I can't stand people who constantly condescend and go about interaction with others in a fuckhead manner. That's what he does.

Today I fantasized about the day I quit the restaurant. Honestly this isn't going to happen for a long time but when it does, I'm going to make sure my last day falls on a day when he's working so I can tell him how I *rearry* feer. Fucking cocksucking bastard. Someone needs to write him a memo to let him know he needs to STOP BREATHING. I'm going to make a dummy with his face on it and take out all my anger and aggression on it since I can't do it to him for real. I mean, I could but... dammit, I've avoided jail time and probation on both of my cases! No more arrests and attorneys! No more attorneys' fees! Anyway, I told one of our kitchen staff that I wish we had a meat grinder so I could push him in it. The fucker is my size so I know I could. Ugh, I told my parents about my hatred for him when I went to Houston and my dad thinks it's one of those hates that would turn into passionate like or love or whatever. FUCKING DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111
First of all, I'm not into Asian men for the most part. Except Koreans. This guy is actually Vietnamese. I'm not into Viet guys. Koreans? *drool*
Second, I generally don't like guys my size. There have been exceptions to this "rule" but I don't like to be taller than my guy in heels and I don't like wearing low heels because I'm taller than him. Is there a third? Yea, I don't end up liking anyone I fucking hate this passionately. I'm not in fucking kindergarten. I'm a passionate person which means I am capable of extreme levels of hate. If homie was dangling by his fingers off a ledge or bridge or cliff... you think I'd help him out? No. I'd stomp on his fingers. Like the movies. If I had the opportunity to save his life, I would definitely not. God dammit, I can't believe I've written this much about someone I hate... AGAIN!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Fuck. I just remembered I haven't done a vblog. I wanna do it somewhere fun like downtown or at the restaurant but I don't want to look like a weirdo talking to myself and my iphone. :s And I don't want anyone to hear what I'm saying since no one in my real day-to-day knows about the blog or the cam teasing and so on... I still struggle with whether or not I should be vandalizing all the downtown bathroom stalls and other various walls I come across with my blog (jennacidal) URL. If I were nude, I probably wouldn't. But being that I'm more of a tease, the idea of people knowing what's up doesn't seem so bad? I think though that for every one person that would be cool about it, there'll be 2 people who aren't. What do you guys think?

12.21.10 - 8 days

Eight days since my last blog entry ain't that bad.
I have Monday-Wednesday off this week because I will be working Thurs-Tuesday this week. That means xmas day also. In fact, I'm working 9-10hrs on the 25th. I'm pretty nervous about working those days because I've been to the restaurant on the weekend in the evening and it's been PACKED. I plan on trying to study our drinks on Wednesday so I can be prepared. I've been really bad about studying. Exact reason why I'm not in school. At least with bartending it's hands-on so I have no choice but to learn as I go. I need to be faster with the restaurant's cocktails though.
Speaking of sushi (work), today I'm supposed to go eat at Musashino for dinner! I am sooooo excited. And hungry. Right now. That and I've been jonesin' for hot wings for a whole minute!!!

I flickrd pics from Sunday night's xmas party for the downtown bar I work at. Chynicole came out to enjoy the free drinks and food so there are a couple of us up there. There was bowling, games and most of the staff did laser tag. I opted out of laser tag and chose to whoop the shit out of Chynicole on air hockey because I am the air hockey queeeeeeeeen!!! Afterwards we went to a karaoke bar because the bar staff is crazy (and good) at karaoke.

I'm really looking forward to 2011 now. I'm still struggling financially and in the red quite a bit FLAT BROKE but I feel like there's so much to look forward to. I feel like I have good people in my life right now so it's easy for me to be positive. I'm always weary of feeling good and being happy though because something always comes along to shit on it. I'm not self-prophesying negativity, I'm just tellin' it like it is. That's really how it goes down. Even something as simple as being completely psyched about going out drinking and then cops show up at my door with tickets. That was last month. It's like, 6 or 7 tickets for the dogs. Only 2 of which can be dismissed. I still haven't paid it because it's a huge chunk of change. Not to mention I'm still being raped by car insurance.
After February I can start looking for cheaper insurance BUT then I have to pay my surcharges which are $150 otherwise my driver's license is suspended. :( Like, I should probably pay it at the end of January so there's no lapse and I don't technically drive with it suspended for a week. It's times like this when I miss the cubicle even though that job was killing me slowly from the inside out.
I still owe $4200 on one credit card so if anyone wants to help out for xmas... obviously anything helps against that kinda balance! If you can't help out directly, you can always show your support through my Amazon links! If you're going to be making purchases for loved ones via Amazon this holiday season, USE MY AMAZON LINK! <333
I've paid off my Wells Fargo card, most of my Chase so that's the only one left. I've got the annual Home Owner's Association (HOA) fee of $240 set aside so I can be a little relieved about that. I also have the fine for the charge I plead guilty to in Houston, that's just under $500 and due by January 25th, 2010. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! But I'm gonna get through all of this, that's what I keep telling myself.
By February 2011, things are going to get a tiny bit easier. Just a bit. I hope!

12.23.10 - boo

I was not paying attention to the schedule when I thought I had today off. I didn't. I was slammed from the moment I walked into the restaurant because tons of people decided they were going to eat there regardless of the fact that we don't open until 5pm. Thanks, jerks.
The tips were good though and I really need the $$$. I'm not looking forward to being that busy again for the next few consecutive nights but oh well. It is what it is. As soon as I can work at a high volume bar, preferably downtown, I'm leaving the restaurant. There's too many young people and way too much immaturity in that place.

I'm staying home again tonight. I don't work until 4P tomorrow but I'm fucking exhausted. alskjfdlajdsf

12.30.10 - '11

I finally got the app to work on my phone so now I can update the blog from my phone. After working 6 days in a row at the restaurant I come down with some kind of cold. I started feeling a sore throat the night before and by morning it was agonizing. The only thing that sucks more than getting sick is having to work while your condition is worsening. I thought I was a trooper bc I was holding down my cubicle while ill at my old gig. On Tuesday I found out what it was like to have to lift 40lb box of soda liquid and carry it to the back of the kitchen to hook up to the carbonation while in a weakened state from being sick complete with body aches. I also fell on my ass a few minutes after getting to the restaurant because my shoes were wet and I slipped on the tile. It was a horrible shift anyway regardless of the fact that I was sick. Today I placed an ad on Craigslist for one of the dogs. I wish I was one of those heartless people that just drop their unwanted pets off at the shelter and move on. That would make things really easy except that I'm not. I need to know that they're going to a good home with a family who will love them. Wish me luck. I'm excited about 2011 and I plan on making the best of this year to improve my life. My resolution is to rehome the dogs and finally have the home that I've been struggling to maintain. To have the nice things, the delicate breakable things on the coffee table and know that I'm the klutz that will break them, not the dogs. I am reclaiming my home. I need change and I am finally willing to endure the heartache to achieve it. I hope you guys will send your positive thoughts my way.